Visitors!

We had summer visitors! Seems that some long lost cousin named Dee (we soon learned it should have been Dee Dee Dee) decided to send her daughter Polly Esther, stepdaughter Salli Cohn and stepson Louis Colon to visit us on a whim. Sure wish she had let us know she was doing this, but Tuesday we get a phone call that the kids are already on the way and and this morning, we go to pick them up at the airstrip.

Well, first off the bush pilot, Ol' Bill was mad. He said the damned plane just about couldn't get off the ground, and he wasn't sure if it was because of all the excess luggage, or all the silicone in the little tart's boobs. Don't look at me...that's straight from Ol' Bill's bearded lips to my ears! I wasn't sure which "little tart" he was referring to, so I tried to grin a bit but when the luggage came tumbling out of the plane, followed by what I thought would be three sweet teenage kids. My eyes about rolled back in my head. Bill was on target with the girls, and Louis looked like a gang banger who had just done a drive-by in Los Angeles. In fact, he proudly stated he had done several drive-by's, but none that he could remember the victims or the locations in any clarity, as the meth had clouded his memory. Oh gawd, what had we gotten into here!

I thanked Ol' Bill and we piled into the 4X4 for the short trip to the Saloon and Inn. Polly and Salli kept asking if they would have their own rooms and how many men were at the lodge. They seemed genuinely disappointed when I explained this was summer season, and we didn't get too many guests, and this gave us room to allow them to stay with us awhile. Louis wanted to know if we had guns so he could hunt...and I hurriedly said no, that we send all the guns in for repair over the summer, and they don't come back until winter. I just knew that little sh*t was itching to try drive-bys somehow. Ha, with nothing to shoot, he'll not be doing that here!

We made it to the lodge and Laura had a great dinner on the table, as always. The girls and Louis seemed tired and wanted to head to bed early so we showed them their rooms and said goodnight. In the morning, the three paying guests who were staying with us seemed overly cheerful, and asked if they could stay another night. Wow, that was good news for us, but we were running a bit short on supplies, so I told them we'd have to cut back a bit on fancy dinners if they were staying. One quipped that he didn't care about dinner if he could just stay. Hmm..and dinner was one of the great draws of the Saloon and Inn. We did have to say that the girls were helpful, changing the linens and towels as well as cleaning the guest rooms each day, thus alleviating some of the more cumbersome tasks at the inn. As for Louis, he did little, but at least he didn't assault anyone either.

The same three guests wanted to book a few extra nights again. Now this was getting suspicious. Nothing to really do but fish and swat mosquitoes. We couldn't arrange hunting trips or shooting contests, as all the guns were locked up to avoid Louis going on a rampage in any of the local villages. We were seeing cash coming in the form of credit card vouchers and cash advances for the guests, and we were running out of the green stuff to hand them in exchange. Then it hit me. Oh My God. Were the two cute "teenagers" puffed full of silicone prostitutes? Oh no...that couldn't be.

A knock on the door at 7 PM that evening brought two Alaska State Troopers to the door to discuss some strange goings on. Seems several men staying at the Saloon and Inn had been draining their company and personal bank accounts with electronic transfers, and their bosses, and in one case, the wife, wanted to know where the money was going, or if there was Internet fraud going on. The point where the Internet was being used was traced to the Saloon, so the Troopers decided to start here.

Upon questioning, it turned out that Louis wasn't really a cousin, far removed or otherwise, or even a relation of any type to the girls. He was their pimp and had threatened their mother if she told anyone about him. In turn, the girls turned tricks for him and thought coming to Alaska would get them out of LA, where the police were hot on their tails, so to speak, for various and sundry crimes! Our "happy paying guests" were staying over and paying the new found "maids" for extra services.

In short, we did not have to pay Ol' Bill to fly the trio back to LA. That was handled for free by the State of Alaska. We did have to sign affidavits that we knew nothing about what was happening, and were cleared of any wrongdoing. Following a trial in Alaska, the three ended back in LA to face charges, for which they pled guilty and were sentenced. They are serving their time in an Alaska prison and will then be returned to California to serve additional time on Federal fraud charges. Needless to say, they are forbidden to return north again.

I've heard the saying "by hook or by crook" which was supposed to be from Ireland but this was "By hooker and by crook " it seems. Only at the Wild Moose Saloon.

Summertime and Fireworks

Whew, have I been delinquent in posting. I apologize, but for some reason weather has been so nice this year that I have not had the ambition to post a lot. Add to that the swarms of earthquakes we keep getting, and I kind of feel like one of those people standing on the "jigglelator" at the amusement park when the earth moves. It's kind of tingly at first, then it gets boring. Then your mind kind of starts thinking..."I wonder if this will be the Big One they always talk about?" Then you go back to whatever you were doing before anyway.

I digress. Spring has been kind to us and we actually saw the top of the Jeep several times. It surfaces like some swamp monster trying to get a breath before settling back in the mud again. I really did plan to pull it out someday, but that someday just hasn't come. Damn near yanked the tracks off the Sno-Cat trying to pull it out last time, so that's not a good bet that will ever happen again. Laura calls it a planter, so maybe that's what it really will be forever. A Jeep planter. Really expensive planter too!

Summer has been nice. We had fireworks for the Fourth of July and some of the local folks came 'round to enjoy the day with us. Had several make Eskimo Ice Cream and found it doesn't melt like the regular stuff we're used to of course. Doesn't taste like it either. But you can't snub folks so you have to try a bit anyway. I swear Laura was turning green and several other shades when she tried it. Me, I just got sick near the Jeep. (That old rust bucket does come in handy sometimes...LOL)

The fireworks were spectacular and everyone enjoyed them. We let the State Ranger know ahead of time as the last time we did this he wasn't very happy after they sent out a search party thinking someone was in trouble. I did think that was kind of silly. After all, who would be lost with all those fireworks with them. It took a truck to carry them out here! But again, he's the Ranger so we have to be in compliance out here.

Saw a couple of moose and three bears this week. Ever since Aunt Mary threw some of her stew near the building, the bears don't come close. I always said it wasn't fit for man nor beast and I guess that was right. May be the best bear repellent in the world for all we know.

The mosquitoes are huge this year. We had one guest who started to put her luggage on one and thought it was the plane to Fairbanks. Good thing we stopped her or it would have carried her off to God knows where. We don't have any planes or airport here but the mosquitoes look like something out of Star Wars when they land. And when they bite, the welts are like small hills! We keep transfusion kits just in case someone gets bit more than a few times! Ouch!

Well. that's all for now. We're hoping to see some of the folks from the lower 48 soon. Hard to believe that the snowflakes will fly in only ten weeks or so.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

A short post to say Happy St. Patrick's Day and also Happy 10th Anniversary to my beautiful wife. This has been the most wondrous and amazing ten years of my life, and you've made it all happen. I love you and am looking forward to the next ten, and the next and the next....

New Entertainment Arrives

Woweee. Today our new Television was delivered. We ordered an LCD television with all the bells and whistles from Costco and it was delivered by UPS today. Took quite awhile to get here but finally made it and the box was only a bit beat up. Kind of worries me when I look at the outside of the box and wonder if the inside will look anything like the outside.

But, not to worry, the TV was spotless. Hooked it up to the DVD player and the local TV antenna (for what we get in TV..LOL) and the picture was startlingly clear. I mean really clear. There was no picture. The screen was blank as a plain canvas. Seems one of the connectors had been a bit loose in the back so I had to fiddle with it a bit to get it to plug in just right, and then it produced a wonderful picture.

On those cold nights (well..that's a helluva big part of the year, come to think of it) and when we have no guests, we like to kick back and watch some DVD's. We bought a Region Free DVD player some years ago that allows us to view DVD's from all over the world, and one of our favorite series is Doc Martin, a comedy about a doctor and his adventures, or rather mis-adventures, over in Cornwall, England. The series was originally given to us as a Christmas gift by our good friends Dave and Renee, and since then, we can't get enough of it. We've become enamoured with British comedies as they're slapstick and easy to watch and if we have children as guests, no apologies necessary because sex and violence are tasteful or double entendre' style.

In any event, our entertainment seems well set for awhile. Spring is upon us and the mud is getting deeper. Things are beginning to melt slowly and I think I can see the top of the Jeep way out there. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I almost thought I saw a moose without snow on his antlers the other day.

I have been singing "Springtime in Alaska" incessantly for some strange reason and if I don't quit, I fear I'll end up like the fellow in the song, six feet below. Just from driving my poor spouse nuts with the lyrics.

The Harsh Reality of Life, Death and Love

On Thursday, February 25, in the early afternoon hours, thousands of miles way, my beloved sister Fran passed on to another life. Her years of suffering through one affliction, and then another, suddenly lifted from her shoulders, as a yoke might be lifted from the shoulders of a burdened soul.

Quietly and without much notice, she was gone. Little time for all the family to gather and say all the things they might have wanted to say in those last moments. Yet, in this case, we had not wasted those moments when the important things could, or should, have been said. Those special words from the heart, spoken to the dearest and nearest of kin and soul, "I love you" were said often and repeated back, signs of heartfelt caring and love between family. In this case, between a brother and sister, who shared many magical moments in life, some from a continent apart, for over six decades.

Strange but little things come to mind, such as the first time I ate pizza. Fran brought it home one evening and the family sat and stared at the new food and slowly ate it. We all laughed at the shape and the strange taste, but it was a new adventure and Fran was like that, always an adventurer.

One of the last times we spoke, only several weeks ago, we laughed about her going to Bingo with our mother in Maine. Bingo was held in the hall above the fire station, and they played for sugar and bacon instead of money. It was a big night when someone came home with a grocery bag full of food items! Quite a memory for a couple of kids to hold on to all these years.

I watched my "big sister" grow up into a beautiful young woman who loved to ride horses, and would chide her about the "horse" smell of her Levis when she came home after a weekend of riding. Fran was more at home in a shirt and Levis than a dress, but when she got dressed up she was absolutely gorgeous. I remember her wedding to Rich, and how beautiful she was in her wedding gown. Somehow, at that moment, it appeared that she outgrew the jeans and shirts, although in truth, I think that jeans remained her favorite method of dress most of her life.

On March 2nd, the funeral service was beautiful, and God listened to our prayers that day for no more rain. The morning was rainy and windy with thunderstorms, but it cleared up and the sun shone for the services, and although it remained windy, and later cloudy, Fran was laid to rest near the river, close to the water she always loved, with friends and family there to say good bye.

Things will never be the same. I won't have the phone calls to look forward to, to chat, exchange jokes, or family stories, or simply just enjoy hearing her voice again. I won't be able to tell her how much I love her. But, there is one bright spot. She always knew how much I loved her, and I know how much she loved me. Because we never held back on telling each other every chance we got. Each and every conversation ended with "I Love You" and more, from the heart.

So, if you love someone, tell them. Don't let the opportunity pass by to say "I Love You" while you can. There may not be another chance today, tomorrow or ever. Time is a precious commodity and there is so little of it to share with those you love. The sadness of the passing of a loved one will become more bearable as the days pass, and along with it more joy in the knowledge that you knew you loved, and were loved in return, And said it well and often.

Christmas at The Saloon

Wow, where has the autumn gone? Seems like I've "fallen" behind. That was a pun intended! Fall went through here like Aunt Mary's stew goes through...well, never mind about that. Just don't order Aunt Mary's stew anytime you're here. She doesn't visit all that often but when she does, she likes to cook and, well, she ain't all that great a cook. Laura tries to keep her out of the kitchen, but sometimes it's just impossible. Not that Aunt Mary can't cook, mind you. Just that her recipes are somewhat, well, spicy or something. Just leave it at that.


Snow is falling leaving that beautiful white blanket on the landscape. The first few snows bring the beauty of Alaska to all and we relish the absolute quiet and tranquility of the Saloon and Inn. Nothing to break the peacefulness except the call of a moose or a bird or the occasional screech owl. The winter guests haven't arrived yet, and nothing like laying in front of the stone fireplace with my sweetheart and the cat, all kind of cuddling and enjoying a warm evening of relaxation. A cup of Irish coffee is nice on an evening like this too. Makes it all that much more special.


Guests will be arriving soon and the Sno-Cat needs some minor work. I didn't mention but we got one heck of a deal on a used Sno-Cat this summer. A fellow down in Fairbanks had one that he needed to part with; needed some cash more than the vehicle, so we bought it relatively cheap. Gas engine and fully tracked, it should be a big help in getting the groceries and guests in this winter. It was originally used to groom roads or trails somewhere, but the grooming equipment had been removed, and it has a large platform on back for supplies and a cab big enough for 4 people. Or one person and Aunt Mary. Hmm..did I mention about not eating Aunt Mary's stew?

We've decorated the outside of the Saloon with the latest in lighting. The new LED lights that use little electricity. That made great sense as electricity is tough to come by out here. Our generator system is big enough to light up a small city, but we use it sparingly as it's for stand-by use only, as we now have big-city power. Well, big-city is a misnomer as Mukluk Power and Light is not big-city at all, and sometimes we think it's two hamsters running on wheels in a small concrete building near Fairbanks Highway. That aside, it is relatively reliable and keeps the lights on most of the time.

Our Christmas tree is beautiful. Laura picked it out and it is just huge! About 11 feet tall and rivals the National Christmas Tree in beauty. We shook the snow off and dragged it all the way home behind the Sno-Cat on a sled. Put it up in the main lodge area and decorated it with tons of lights and ornaments and a giant star on top. Montgomery, our cat, keeps swatting the ornaments off as he delights in watching them fly across the room. We give him an ornament to play with and he ignores it, and just goes after another one more to his liking. Just like a cat I suppose.

Speaking of which, he is starting to look like the bears, packing on some weight and prepared to hibernate for the winter. He has taken to sleeping on top of our legs at night, and trying to move with a huge cat on you as you wake is sometimes difficult. It's something new for him, maybe has something to do with the cold weather coming in. The moose have no intention of hibernating, however, as we see them daily, walking across the road and near the back porch. Hard to keep them away from the back door; I suppose they smell the food. Maybe if we let them have some of Aunt Mary's stew? I think the Alaska Wildlife Troopers would consider that a felony however.

At least the mosquitoes are gone. This years crop of mosquitoes was really bad. One landed on the road and a guest, trying to be helpful, loaded on two barrels of gasoline and was going to help other guests on board before he realized it was a mosquito! LOL. Just kidding, but they are huge. Mosquito netting is a must to avoid having your blood drained at will by these creatures. The cold drives them to death and or hibernation but in the spring they will be back again. Something to look forward to, along with the mud. Speaking of mud, I'll have to look at the Jeep and see how far it's sunk again. We'll never get it out so we just leave it there as a tourist attraction. Maybe we'll plant flowers on it in the spring!

So, as Christmas nears, it will be quiet here at the Saloon. In the spirit of the holiday, we want to wish you all a wonderful holiday season, no matter which holiday you celebrate. Be it Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas or any holiday at all, we at the Wild Moose Saloon wish you and yours a Happy, Healthy Holiday Season, and all the best for a Wonderful New Year filled with love, peace and hope.

Summer is Amost Over

Wow...where has the time gone? It's almost Labor Day and we've been so busy working on the Wild Moose that we've had little time to attend to our blog. Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, meaning my fault in Latin. I know I should be more attentive, but the beauty and giddiness of nature in the summer, when the ground is soft and squishy, just makes me lose all track of time.

The Land Rover is mired more than axle deep in the mud, and the boss lady says we have to dig it out before the cold comes along. She's right, because way out yonder is a 1977 Jeep Grand Cherokee that we haven't actually seen for some years. It got rather buried in the tundra and then froze, so we couldn't pull it out, and I decided to let it set for the winter. Bad move, very bad. Then the spring thaw came, and it was mired deeper, and I procrastinated getting it out with a Cat or something ,and it sunk even deeper. So, there it sits, about half in and half out of the ground, useless except as a tourist attraction, perhaps. "Come and see how we grow Jeeps in Alaska!" Hmm, even the folks from back east won't fall for that one. Will they?

It has been a fine summer. Some rain, some beautiful days, some fog and most of all decent temperatures. Got a chance to go down to the lower 48 to visit some folks and realized how crowded it really is down there. Gets more so every time we go. Most of the wildlife is penned up in a zoo or driving on the freeways. Hard to tell which is which sometimes, as the way they drive, you'd sure think they were animals.

Big story up here is the loss of our Governor, Sarah Palin. We thought she was going to stick around and then run for President in 2012, but who knows now that she quit. Lots of buzzing about what goes on over there but not many of us up here care a whole lot. Juneau is a whole state away (actually, a few Rhode Islands and a New Jersey or two away in distance) and we don't much care for the political arena over there anyway.

We were hoping for a bailout up here. Thought the government was going to send people to help us get the basement dry after the main water line from the well sprung a leak. But no dice. Called Washington and spoke with some people there, and they told me to bail myself out. Ain't that the government way? Bail out the banks, AIG, Chrysler and GM, and Wall Street, but let the little guy be swimming up to his neck in deep water, and they tell me to bail myself out. Yet they used MY tax money to bail everyone else out. Now I don't have a bucket or a window to throw it out of.

Luckily we did get a big sump pump and what's called an eductor to get it all out, and some fans to dry it. It will be fine, but we'll know better than ask for any help in the future. Gotta do it all ourselves up here. Like the man says...It's Tougher in Alaska.!